to my firstborn

dear kyle,

how time flies. you’re 6. has it been 6 years? i can still remember the moment i found out i was carrying you. it was a few weeks after i celebrated by 23rd birthday. yes, mommy was still young then, officially working, in a relationship for almost a year with daddy. when we found out, honestly, we were scared. we didn’t know what to do.

hello son 🙂

but we remained strong. we were happy to have a blessing. we were happy to have you. even if that time, mommy and daddy were still planning our future, you made sure you came in first. that how you’ve always been. you must always come first.

the moment you came was an emotional rollercoaster for me. the moment i held you i was amazed to have bore a child so special and loved. scared of how i can provide a future for you. overflowing with happiness that i was given the chance to be a mom. i was an emotional mess.

our first bonding

and here we are. 6 years. you have brought so much joy to our lives. i’m so proud of you that the moment you found out mommy was going to have another baby, you didn’t throw a fit, didn’t get jealous. instead, you opened your arms to being the big brother. and how you do it so well now that you have 2 younger brothers looking up to you.

i pray that you continue to become the most amazing, independent, outspoken, brave boy that you are. that even if i don’t get to focus on you that much since your two brothers demand more time, you understand. i pray that you continue to have that curiosity in you to ask WHY in everything and find answers yourself if i admit i don’t know the answers. don’t be afraid to try out new things, meet new friends, make mistakes, it’s part of growing up my son. at 6 you have been quite the independent son, the kuya, the next in command, and for that, you earned that title.

you have been my greatest source of strength, you can’t imagine all those nights i cried my eyes out, those nights i told you my secrets. you were and will be my security blanket, my comforter, my rock.

i have seen you grow up before my eyes and i feel overwhelmed and lucky that i was given the chance to have you as my firstborn. i still don’t know why i was given to you, but i am doing all the best i can to live up to your standards. hearing you say i’m the greatest mom in the world even if we argue, i raise my voice at you, i lose my temper. i’m still the greatest. i will cherish everything.

6 years, my boy, 6 years. and i am looking forward to more memories with you. don’t grow up too fast. i still need to hug, kiss, snuggle, tickle, even give you a bath once in a while. you will forever be my baby even if you protest and bargain that i call you that when we’re at home.

all grown up!

we may not get to celebrate your 6th as amazing as your 1st birthday, but i promise, your 7th will be more memorable for you.

i love you my bututuy

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About Haze
Online & blogging since 2002. Blogging about motherhood, discoveries and life in general - plus a few rants on the side. :) Grab a cup of coffee and let's chat :)

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