when i grow up

day 29 of the 30 day blog challenge

it was k1’s career day in school and they were asked to prepare careers that they want to be when they grow up.

there’s no need to ask him what he wanted. and so we shopped. (thank you cash and carry)

and here’s our race car driver.

team ferrari

and i think he has the potential to be one. he can beat me at the arcade. he’s a better driver than i am. but of course, at the back of my mind, i’m still scared as hell of the dangers of being a mom to a race car driver. but, i’m all for tha happiness of my kids.

i just hope that until he grows up, he’ll never forget this dream. (or be a doctor or engineer or architect or those usual career path that moms dream of)

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it’s perfectly ok to make mistakes

day 26 of the 30 day blog challenge and a double post in 1 day

how do you explain to a child that it is ok to make mistakes? that from these mistakes, you become a better person? that mistakes are what makes us perfect?

i just got a message from my mom thru fb chat that k1, was low on self esteem. after their spelling drill and having difficulty in getting 2 words right, he blurted out that he was a loser, that he can’t get anything right.

it broke my heart to pieces.

on my part it felt like i did something wrong. that somewhere, i was the loser. i was crushed. but, i have to be the brave one, the one bearing the sunshine and happy thoughts. i’m just glad that mom was able to assure him that it was ok to make mistakes. that you don’t usually get things right the first time.

k1 and i will have another talk tomorrow morning before he goes to school. i think he needs all the self esteem boost not only from my mom but from me, his own mom. i’m the one assigned to make things better. and damn right i will make it better, for him. he may get the hard truth, but, he will for sure, understand. he’s smarter than what we think he is. all he needs is that loving assurance.

in retrospect, i wished my mom was like that to me when i was younger. i learned it the hard way and thru books.

to my firstborn

dear kyle,

how time flies. you’re 6. has it been 6 years? i can still remember the moment i found out i was carrying you. it was a few weeks after i celebrated by 23rd birthday. yes, mommy was still young then, officially working, in a relationship for almost a year with daddy. when we found out, honestly, we were scared. we didn’t know what to do.

hello son 🙂

but we remained strong. we were happy to have a blessing. we were happy to have you. even if that time, mommy and daddy were still planning our future, you made sure you came in first. that how you’ve always been. you must always come first.

the moment you came was an emotional rollercoaster for me. the moment i held you i was amazed to have bore a child so special and loved. scared of how i can provide a future for you. overflowing with happiness that i was given the chance to be a mom. i was an emotional mess.

our first bonding

and here we are. 6 years. you have brought so much joy to our lives. i’m so proud of you that the moment you found out mommy was going to have another baby, you didn’t throw a fit, didn’t get jealous. instead, you opened your arms to being the big brother. and how you do it so well now that you have 2 younger brothers looking up to you.

i pray that you continue to become the most amazing, independent, outspoken, brave boy that you are. that even if i don’t get to focus on you that much since your two brothers demand more time, you understand. i pray that you continue to have that curiosity in you to ask WHY in everything and find answers yourself if i admit i don’t know the answers. don’t be afraid to try out new things, meet new friends, make mistakes, it’s part of growing up my son. at 6 you have been quite the independent son, the kuya, the next in command, and for that, you earned that title.

you have been my greatest source of strength, you can’t imagine all those nights i cried my eyes out, those nights i told you my secrets. you were and will be my security blanket, my comforter, my rock.

i have seen you grow up before my eyes and i feel overwhelmed and lucky that i was given the chance to have you as my firstborn. i still don’t know why i was given to you, but i am doing all the best i can to live up to your standards. hearing you say i’m the greatest mom in the world even if we argue, i raise my voice at you, i lose my temper. i’m still the greatest. i will cherish everything.

6 years, my boy, 6 years. and i am looking forward to more memories with you. don’t grow up too fast. i still need to hug, kiss, snuggle, tickle, even give you a bath once in a while. you will forever be my baby even if you protest and bargain that i call you that when we’re at home.

all grown up!

we may not get to celebrate your 6th as amazing as your 1st birthday, but i promise, your 7th will be more memorable for you.

i love you my bututuy

my boys and their toys

it’s fun to see my 3ks playing together minus the crying and toy grabbing.

playing together 🙂

and this is what makes childhood with siblings the best 🙂

snaps: motivation

these 3 gems (aside from hubby of course) are the reason why i’m alive & living.

they are my source of motivation everyday. seeing the good in things and in life.

my 3 Ks.

k2, k1 & k3

i miss you

it may be just 5 days without the two of you at home but it feels so empty. the noise you make, the mess you leave behind, the crying, the shouting, the neediness.

i miss the two of you.

tutti & kuya

and sleeping has been awfully hard because i can’t hear you breathing. the noises you make while sleeping. the waking up in the middle of the night asking me for milk.

waking up or waking me up in the morning so that i won’t be late for work.

come back home soon boys. i miss the craziness!

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